Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
how drunk are you?
Several
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
