if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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