And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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