its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
