i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
