is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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