I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
