He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You were trust falling into bushes
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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