you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
