Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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