I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
