If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
