it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
