Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
