Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup