I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read