Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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