it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
