i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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