God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
