your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
