STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Randomize
