i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My liver just had a heart attack.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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