and you said cock pushups were impossible
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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