It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
