Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
