Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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