There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
