i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
