Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
