I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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