I hate your face
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
