A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
