i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
