you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
