well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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