I need help removing her.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
