i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
