He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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