Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
