I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
