we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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