Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
