Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
