Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
is that a dick in a sweater?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize