This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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