just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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