okay pat passed out under dana's car
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
