I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
