I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize