I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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