Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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