I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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