How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
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I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
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Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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