Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
