Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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