My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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