super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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