Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
