i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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