Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
