I look better un-naked...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
