Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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