So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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