32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
