Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize