What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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